As January comes to a deceptively sunny close, I can now confidently proclaim that I survived my first trans-continental move. Yes, it took me two weeks to recover from jet lag in a land whose sun sets just after 3:30 in the afternoon. Yes, I still haven't got a clue how to use the dryer feature on my washer/dryer combo that is in my kitchen (precisely where the dishwasher should be!), and yes, I do have trouble sleeping on an air mattress for the 7th week in a row while I wait (not so patiently) for my king-size mattress gets shipped from the States...But I don't care.
Why?
Because I'm madly in love with British hyperbole.
Take a trip down to your local Tesco or Sainsbury supermarket and no matter what aisle you choose, you will face a smattering of luxury. Or so they tell you on the label. "Luxury mixed-fruit cup". "Luxury cashews." "Luxury biscuits". "Luxury lemon dish soap". And of course, my favorite, "Luxury 2-ply toilet tissue, with the Queen's brand of approval". How lucky I am to be surrounded in luxury when silly me thought I was just buying plain ol' toilet paper.
Even the newspaper ads join in on the opulence with their "luxury 1 bdr flat", "luxury floor plan" and of course, the ever popular "luxury dishwasher."
But it's not just the advertising.
Nearly every Brit I have come across has a distinct penchant for positive over-exaggeration as well. Everything is described as "Fantastic!" and "Brilliant!" and "Fabulous!".
It is very common when a waiter brings a bill to a patron (who may have just ordered something simple like a coffee) the patron will suddenly burst out, "Fantastic!" as the bill changes hand, instead of a simple thank-you. Or something like this:
Waiter: "Sir, here's your glass of water you ordered."
Patron: "Fantastic. Brilliant!"
Or:
Gentleman#1: "What do you think of these white socks?"
Gentleman#2: "Brilliant! Fantastic!"
And some Brits more than others. In fact, just today on the 30 bus near St. John's Square, I overhead a young woman talking on her mobile (not called cell phones here, mind you) carefully asking her friend if she wouldn't mind taking her dogs out for a walk tomorrow. When the friend gave what seemed to be a positive reply, the young woman shrieked every imaginable positive utterance she could think of (as well as repeating her favorites) in a single sentence: "You will? Oh that is fantastic, oh my, it's absolutely brilliant, fabulous, fantastic, absolutely fabulous, I am so happy you said that, marvelous, superb, outstanding, FANTASTIC!"
I admit I may not have captured her answer verbatim. I'm pretty sure I left out another 10 or so synonyms for "great" that she crammed in there.
While it took me by surprise (and, admittedly, great annoyance) in the beginning, the more time I spend in London the more I realize that this city really does live up to its rep. You might even go so far as to say that London is, indeed, fantastic.
